Vulnerability. There, I said it.
About six months ago I saw an advertisement for an amazing Heinemann PD weekend focused on inquiry. I asked a few colleagues to attend with me...Who wouldn't want to go to beautiful Santa Fe?! Unfortunately no one could go. So of course, I asked my husband and 11 year old daughter to go. Great. Done.
There were a couple of things that I didn't count on. One was having to have foot surgery about a month before our departure. Talk about being vulnerable. All of a sudden I had to ask for help from almost everyone. Hard. I am a fast walker and a fast "doer." The Fonda hotel is an absolutely beautiful and majestic place with an amazing history filled with intrigue and hidden spaces. It also has many areas where there are three steps up. Problematic. The other thing I didn't count on was feeling so alone there. For some reason I hadn't thought that part through very well.
So, the first morning I walked into this huge ballroom and it seemed like all the participants were already there with their groups. (I chose not to have the buffet breakfast there because how was I supposed to drive my cart and hold my plate...I know, I know I should have asked for help.) I am actually a very outgoing and extroverted person when I know people in a group but, I knew no one. Gulp. No one. I knew Smokey Daniels from his picture on the cover of the brochure...seriously. So I finally decided to go up in front to a table right in front of him. I can't tell you how amazing it was for him to welcome me with his bright smile and warm voice. I ended up sitting right there in front at a table with a group of women who had come together as a district.
So even though I had a group to talk to they were all there together. I was the outsider. Each time I went back to our room I would tell my husband, "I don't want to go out there again." Don't get me wrong, it was a fabulous conference but I was still feeling alone and my cart made me even more alone. I would be "walking" and chatting with people and boom, three steps. I would have to open the little door to the open air mechanical lift at which point the people I was walking with went on. So I felt even more alone. It gave me so much empathy for people who are handicapped. Each time I knew it was good for me to go back but I can't remember when I've felt so vulnerable.
Through the process I came to understand what my students feel both in the public school where I teach in Manhattan and at Bank Street College. We encourage our students to be vulnerable all the time, to read a book they aren't used to, to work in groups with people who are new to them. As teachers, we can become comfortable with what we know and how we teach, steering clear of new challenges for ourselves. Yet, I always tell my students at Bank Street that it is in the uncomfortable and gray area where they learn the most. How humbling it was for me to be living that discomfort and how powerful to go back to them and report about my discomfort and pushing through.
Vulnerability is so much less daunting when you embrace a growth mindset; when you know you don't have to know it all or be right all the time. In fact, I would suggest that when we are more vulnerable, we create a deeper connection and community through our example. Isn't that what we want for kids? We have to model vulnerability, to show them that it is safe and it is necessary for growth. That is where the most profound learning is.
Oh, and if you were wondering, the weekend was great and in the end, I learned a ton about La Fonda through the inquiry process and if you had been passing by, you might of heard my group singing "La Fonda" to the tune of "La Bamba." You could have also heard me singing into the microphone, "Baila, baila!"
About six months ago I saw an advertisement for an amazing Heinemann PD weekend focused on inquiry. I asked a few colleagues to attend with me...Who wouldn't want to go to beautiful Santa Fe?! Unfortunately no one could go. So of course, I asked my husband and 11 year old daughter to go. Great. Done.
There were a couple of things that I didn't count on. One was having to have foot surgery about a month before our departure. Talk about being vulnerable. All of a sudden I had to ask for help from almost everyone. Hard. I am a fast walker and a fast "doer." The Fonda hotel is an absolutely beautiful and majestic place with an amazing history filled with intrigue and hidden spaces. It also has many areas where there are three steps up. Problematic. The other thing I didn't count on was feeling so alone there. For some reason I hadn't thought that part through very well.
So, the first morning I walked into this huge ballroom and it seemed like all the participants were already there with their groups. (I chose not to have the buffet breakfast there because how was I supposed to drive my cart and hold my plate...I know, I know I should have asked for help.) I am actually a very outgoing and extroverted person when I know people in a group but, I knew no one. Gulp. No one. I knew Smokey Daniels from his picture on the cover of the brochure...seriously. So I finally decided to go up in front to a table right in front of him. I can't tell you how amazing it was for him to welcome me with his bright smile and warm voice. I ended up sitting right there in front at a table with a group of women who had come together as a district.
So even though I had a group to talk to they were all there together. I was the outsider. Each time I went back to our room I would tell my husband, "I don't want to go out there again." Don't get me wrong, it was a fabulous conference but I was still feeling alone and my cart made me even more alone. I would be "walking" and chatting with people and boom, three steps. I would have to open the little door to the open air mechanical lift at which point the people I was walking with went on. So I felt even more alone. It gave me so much empathy for people who are handicapped. Each time I knew it was good for me to go back but I can't remember when I've felt so vulnerable.
Through the process I came to understand what my students feel both in the public school where I teach in Manhattan and at Bank Street College. We encourage our students to be vulnerable all the time, to read a book they aren't used to, to work in groups with people who are new to them. As teachers, we can become comfortable with what we know and how we teach, steering clear of new challenges for ourselves. Yet, I always tell my students at Bank Street that it is in the uncomfortable and gray area where they learn the most. How humbling it was for me to be living that discomfort and how powerful to go back to them and report about my discomfort and pushing through.
Vulnerability is so much less daunting when you embrace a growth mindset; when you know you don't have to know it all or be right all the time. In fact, I would suggest that when we are more vulnerable, we create a deeper connection and community through our example. Isn't that what we want for kids? We have to model vulnerability, to show them that it is safe and it is necessary for growth. That is where the most profound learning is.
Oh, and if you were wondering, the weekend was great and in the end, I learned a ton about La Fonda through the inquiry process and if you had been passing by, you might of heard my group singing "La Fonda" to the tune of "La Bamba." You could have also heard me singing into the microphone, "Baila, baila!"
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